Monday, February 27, 2012

Getting Back With Your Ex Will Only End in Tears? Seriously?

So I was reading this news article today that had some info for all those people who are dying to know how to get your ex back. The article says that there are studies that claim that getting back with your ex will only end in tears. I say, they aren't doing it the right way (or those in the study were trying to force a relationship that totally wasn't meant to be).

Reality is, we all have had relationships where one stupid misunderstanding or action leads to a impulsive break up. It happens... In fact it happens all the time. But what if that relationship really had good factors for BOTH of you? Is it right to tell people that getting back together is NOT the right thing to do? That it will be WORSE than before?

I don't think so. I think each relationship is unique and is comprised of two unique people. If they each learn the right tools to get back together AND make the effort to put the pieces back together, how can that be a bad thing?

If you have an ex that you have unfinished business with (ie, you don't have closure, you can't get that person out of your mind, you compare anyone new to your ex, etc etc) then I think you SHOULD take a chance and reach out to that ex and see if there is a way to get back together if both are interested in it.

I know MANY great couples - and about 98% of them have broken up at one time or another before finally getting settled in a loving and trusting relationship. Relationships are hard - we all have issues to deal with as we learn true love and true commitment - so why let one break up ruin what could be the love of your life?

Just my thoughts...but here's an excerpt from the news story:

"We've all known (or even been!) that couple who broke up, got back together, and really made it work. And Vennum acknowledges that if a couple really addresses the reasons behind the breakup (and, crucially, if both are aware that they actually broke up), it's possible to bounce back. More common than the bounce, though, is a slow slide into discord. And the truth is, the promise of a redo is sometimes illusory. It's easy to imagine that if you get back together, it'll be just like the sweet, passionate beginning of your relationship all over again. But really, it's going to be a lot more like starting back up from the end of your relationship — after all, that's where you actually left off. And if things then were untenable, you're going to have to work pretty hard to fix them. To forestall backsliding, Vennum recommends the cold-turkey approach, at least for a little while: "Researchers have found that on days when we see our exes, we feel more feelings of love towards them than on days we don't." This is a case of science confirming what we all already know, but sometimes forget when we're lying on the floor sobbing and listening to Sea Change over and over again.

Passion pitfall: Research finds that rekindling a romance often extinguishes a couple's happiness [K-State]
Reunited, and it feels so terrible [Health on Today]


If you're really serious and committed to getting back together with an ex, get your hands on a copy of Magic of Making Up. This smart guide has helped thousands and thousands of couples put it all back together - even when there was only ONE person interested in reuniting in the beginning. Hey, it's your life - if you want something or believe in something, go for it!

What's really sad to me are all those couples I have known that broke up for some silly (or serious) reason, but we all know they are MEANT to be together. They just don't have the tools to learn how to get back together - so they remain apart. That, to me, is something that is worth shedding tears over.

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